Monday, July 25, 2011

Putting it out there

Its official, I am bored. And I feel absolutely horrible saying that out loud, but its true. Absolutely horrible saying that!! My days at home being a mum have all of a sudden become much harder to deal with and I need to find a way to get out of this rut. It has nothing to do with the Little Man whatsoever - he's adorable and fun and its so great to be there for him. But I am not being the best mum to him and I think its beginning to show. He even seems a bit bored with the same old, same old all the time. It's been a bit of a weird summer weather-wise, and all our usual friends have been busy with guests and adventures out of town, so we've been alone way too much. All our usual programs and whatnot are on hold till September too, so that doesn't help either. I don't so well when I'm alone too much- I get anxious, my mind runs away with me, and I have a hard time getting motivated to come up with things to do. I want to be grateful for my time with L and have the energy and excitement he deserves on a regular basis. Even though we've been working on the sleep stuff and are all getting more of it, I still feel so lethargic and uninspired - not as much on the weekends when R is home, but still so hard to make a decision about what to do each day! i would do so much better if I knew what we were doing when we woke up each morning. I'm definitely going to register us in something for the fall - not sure what, but we'll find something! And I am definitely going to start getting my resume ready and put the word out that I'm looking for part time work...something that pays well and fits into my schedule with L. I can be picky, there's no rush - other than my sanity!- so I want to put it out there.
I'm looking for part time work, up to 15 hours a week to start. Pay at least $18/hour, ideally $20!! have a flexible schedule if needs be. It be close enough that I can walk or take a short (less than 15 mins) bus ride. I would like to work around interesting, creative, fun, like minded people, doing something that keeps me engaged and helps people. I would like to be involved with an educational setting - UVic or Camosun maybe? Or an elementary school? It would have benefits and paid sick days. There would be other parents working there, so people understand some of the things I might be dealing with and give me some extra support if needs be. There would be extra benefits, like a free gym membership or yoga classes for free, or classes and training that would interest me, cheap. I will find someone wonderful to watch Luke while I'm there, or it will be R. Ideally, I wouldn't want it to be him all the time as I want us to have time together too. I will actually take home some money to save or use to help us out - it won't all go to childcare and commuting. It will be a way into a great working environment that I can move into full time work when I'm ready and feel satisfied about my work life. Or at least open doors to that way of life. I'm looking at working part time for a couple years till L is off to kindergarten, and then being back full time - and still get home to meet him after school if I can.
I guess the first thing I need to do is get my resume sorted out. Unfortunately, I have lost all my recent copies, so I need to start from scratch...yuck. I hate doing my resume. I hate talking about myself and my skills - I never feel confident about it. Hopefully my mom will help flush it out a bit once I send her a first draft. Once I'm ready to apply for work, something will show up. Maybe I'll find something through the family of the house we're renting our suite in. Or someone through my sister and all her connections. Or maybe through my friends. Someone is bound to need some help administratively!
I need to stay positive, try and find a way to feel happier while things fall into place, and be as nice as I can to L - he doesn't need a grumpy, unhappy mother. He deserves much better than that!!