I'm finding that the running is really helping, but I only do it three times a week. If my body and my family could handle more, I would probably aim to go five times a week, but I'm not there yet. With long nights of broken sleep this week, I find myself laying awake rethinking all the decisions we have made about sharing our bed, still breastfeeding him, and everything else, and it doesn't make for very confident days. We haven't changed anything because it feels like too much work to make any significant changes - I'm too tired to even think about having to get out of bed 3-5 times a night to help him back to sleep if he's in his own room. I guess we're just not to a breaking point yet and still feel the resolve to stay committed to our original goals. New parents are tired - probably till he's about 3 or 4 years old, I would think. It's a normal part of raising kids. But man oh man is it tough!!! I used to worry about him getting too upset if we tried to rock the boat - now I'm more worried about how much work will be required, and determination, and commitment and I don't feel like I have much of those at all these days.
Whew. needed this space to vent a bit and feel better already. I don't know how I will find more confidence as a parent, or the time to do everything, or even the ability to just let it go - let me know if you have any ideas!